1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
2. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
3. 6:00 a.m is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
4. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
5. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”
6. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
7. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
8. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door
won’t turn down the stereo.
9. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
10. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
11. You take naps.
12. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
13. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms
and pregnancy tests.
14. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
15. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
16. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
17. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them
instead of asking “Oh shit what the hell happened?”
18: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that
doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old ass.