Famous Patelbhai

Patel is a Gujarati-bhai. Patel was bragging to his boss one day,’ You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.’ Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff,
‘OK, Patel how about Tom Cruise?’
‘Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.’
So Patel and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts,
‘Patel! Great to see you. You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!’
Although impressed, Patel’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Patel that he thinks Patel’s knowing Cruise was just lucky.

‘No, no, just name anyone else,’ Patel says.
‘President Bush,’ his boss quickly retorts.
‘Yes,’ Patel says, ‘I know him, let’s fly out to Washington.’
And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Patel on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying,
‘Patel , what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up.’
Well, the boss is much shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Patel who again implores him to name anyone else.
‘The Pope,’ his boss replies.
‘Sure!’ says Patel . ‘My folks use to live in Germany, and I’ve known the Pope a long time.’
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Answering Machine Messages

Here are 10 messages you can keep on you answering machine.

10. My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don’t need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.

8. This is not an answering machine – this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling…. and I’ll think about returning your call.

7. Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

6. Hi! This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have LOTS of money. Continue reading →