The Escape Artist

The last couple of months have been really pushing me to the edge. More troubles, challenges, wins, defeats. But I have got plenty of time to escape every weekend. Except escaping from everything. I managed to survive for last couple of years but I am actually living the last couple of months. Whatever it is, I am happy.

Sometimes, I feel I am matured. But a part of me doesn’t agree and doesn’t want me to be. The confusion might have resulted in an equilibrium.

I have learned to accept the bitter truths. This is the time I have to work towards what I want to achieve. If it’s not now, I’ll never be able to do it. Ten years down the road, I would like to see myself immersed in an abnormal life. And this is the crucial year to lay foundation for that. It will take time to settle. It’s not easy like cooking two minutes noodles. Even the two minutes noodles take more time to cook than they claim. Patience is not just an ordinary key. It’s a master key. I have find the right door to unlock. Patience will guide me through it.

This is not an overdose of self help books. I would love to read those books but I prefer to re read The Alchemist. I hope I succeed.

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एक पेड

एक मामुली सा पेड है वह
सुनसान बंजर जमीन पे
वक्त के थपेडे खाता
बस एक मामुली पेड

पत्ता पत्ता सूख रहा है
और तेज हवा
पत्तों को पेड से अलग करती
एक-एक शाख को नंगा करती

कुछ समय पुर्व
माहौल कुछ अलग था
हर शाख थी हरी भरी
पत्ता पत्ता खीला हुआ

दूर कही से पंछी आया
थका हुआ सा पनाह लेने
हरा भरा देख उस पेड को
वही घरोंदा कर बैठा वो

प्रातः से सांज तक
उस पंछी की चहचहाहट
एक नयी उमंग भर देती
नये नये ख्वाब संजोकर

वक्त गुजरा, मौसम बदला
सुखे का मौसम आया
हर पल एक पत्ता
लेता गया अपने साथ

देख यह, वह पंछी घबराया
कडी धूप वो न सह पाया
निकल पडा उस पेड को छोड
तलाश में एक नया पेड

मायुसी ने पेड को गले लगाया
सुखे ने अपना रंग गहराया
और पेड जब खाली घरोंदा देखता
बेहद उदास वह बन जाता

उस पेड ने सुना था कभी
ये वक्त भी गुजर जायेगा
सांज कभी  सांज न रहेगी
नया सवेरा जरूर आयेगा

एक अरसा हुआ वक्त को गुजरे
वही.. उसी जगह खडा है वह
नंगी शाखों से सजा हुआ
एक मामुली सा पेड

                                                          – शून्य

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Aavarana – The Cover

​”Your body is just a cover. It is only there to help and communicate with other. What matters is the Aatma.”

I have read such and related thoughts numerous times. Once a thought is repeated to you so many times, it has a tendency to affect you. My problem is that I understand it but fail to implement it. A part of my mind loves the thought. The other acts exactly opposite to it. The human tendency to reject ugliness is deeply sown into the brain. That makes it difficult to judge someone from their appearance. Even if you are able to judge, You will reject the idea in case if it’s ugly. 

When you go to the market, This ability acts as a boon. It helps you in buying groceries, fruits, vegetables, clothes and so on. Here the appearance often plays a big role. If an apple doesn’t look good from outside, It won’t be good from inside most of the times. Although there is a practice to wax the apples to make them shine so as to fool the buyer. Some are fooled due to this extra shine. Vegetables, are as good as they appear. So is the case of clothes. Such decisions condition our mind to reject ugliness. 

I am still trying to get around this. I understand that the person in front of me is genuine. He is kind hearted. But if he doesn’t appear good, then I blacklist him. I stay away. I don’t know how many people, good people I have missed because of this trait. Though it has reduced substantially, I still think I can do better. I want to do better. 

As they say, Do not judge a book by its cover. 

Let’s see how long it takes me to implement this. 

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Happy New Year 2017

​Aloha guys! It’s new year. Before I continue with my nonsense, here’s wishing you a happy and prosperous new year. Make the best out of it. Don’t complain if you can’t. 

Now let’s see. What everyone does on the first day of the year is pen down some resolutions. Most resolutions definitely include joining a gym. Isn’t it. Weren’t you thinking of this? He he he. That’s on my list as well for whole together different reason. Let’s not get lost in thoughts. We have to make a list. 

1) Reading : Over the last 3 years, This one resolution I have been able to keep up with. 3 years in a row!! Not a joke dude. I definitely deserve a pat on my back. So this year I am going to make it a little bit tough. I want to read 35 books. The difficult task is that I want half of it to be paperback or hardcover. Not ebooks. Believe me. It’s a difficult task. You cannot carry the book with you everywhere. 

2) Solo hike : This has been on my mind for 2 years now. Couldn’t do it for some wrong reasons and a couple of right as well. I’ll have to be fit to be able to fulfill this. Hence the next resolution. 

3) Join a gym : Oh God! I so want to do this. But my laziness keeps me away from joining a gym. I don’t want six pecks and the body of a model. I want to be fit and healthy and have good stamina (for all the right reasons). If I am able to make 30 days in a gym, Then it will last for a long time. BTW, Why there’s no tax relaxation for joining a gym? Are you listening Mr. Prime minister? 

Fourth would have been get married. But I have completely lost interest in it. My practical sense tells me I have just 1% chance of getting married now. It’s better to keep this out of resolution list. 

So what are your resolutions? Let me know. 

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Looking back to 2016

That time of the year when everyone starts looking back and tries to list out their achievements. Accomplishments. If you are active on social networks then this becomes mandatory to you. You are often bombarded with such statuses, messages, tweets etc. So much so that even if you don’t want to look back, You think of doing it. And while you are thinking of looking back, You are already looking back. I have reduced my social networking activity to a great extent. But whatever time I spend on social networks now is sufficient to drag me into this activity. So here is what I thought about 2016.

The start. First week. It was nuclear. It was Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The “Fat Man” and “Little Boy” did a permanent damage to me. For the last two days, I kept thinking whether to write about this or not. It’s personal. Even a few minutes back I wasn’t sure. There was something in me that was pushing me to write this. It managed to succeed the last minute.

1) The Breakup
The usual suspect. Right? Almost everyone goes through it. It’s very common these days. I managed to stay away from this because I always avoided Love. Maybe later. Maybe later. And so happened that I crossed 30. Still I avoided the feeling. I insisted on arranged marriage. So so old school. Then suddenly out of nowhere this happens. This girl approaches me. Chats day and night. Then talks day and night. I thought she is just being  a little over friendly. Then we met. A few days later she expressed her love. I thought this was her infatuation. I took it seriously only when she talked to her parents about… Us. All this happened in second half of last year which I didn’t write about. In the first week of this year, Our parents met. Everyone agreed. All was well until the next day when she broke up with me. I couldn’t think. After a long call, I thought of giving her space. But somewhere deep inside, I knew it’s over. I was right.

2) I lost my Uncle
If there was a person whom I respected almost as much I respect my father, it was him. It maybe because the first few years of my childhood were spent in his company. Every year, I used to take out time out of everything and stay at my uncle’s place. It’s away from all the noise. There is still no good cell phone coverage there. It felt good every time I went there. Talking to him, Working with him made me happy. I guess he loved me that much. I miss him. Is till do. His memories blur everything. A void he has left which will always be empty. And this happened very next day of break up.

3) Home renovation
It would surprise many how this made it to the list. Just a week before 1 an 2, I had started home renovation. I have this crazy emotion. I get attached to non-living things if  I spend a lot of time with them. My home is one of them. I couldn’t demolish it. I couldn’t imagine the prospects. Thus renovation. I thought it would be difficult but never thought it would be a herculean task. I had to live in a room covered with asbestos sheets with poor ventilation for six months, most of it were in summer. I lost weight. I lost energy. I was weak.  got sick. I had almost no help. But there were two things I never lost. Hope and Faith. Every time the energy reached it’s lower limit, something strange would happen. I would get a tiny bit, A little help from someone which would help me drive for sometime. Fortunately, This continued till the inauguration. Griha Pravesh or Opening was on October 10th. The day before, I worked till I couldn’t. This in spite of getting help from my dear sister. I just put a brave face the next day when actually I was tired. What kept me going were the complements. Almost everyone loved my home. Till date, Every guest doesn’t fail to mention this. This.. This has increased my confidence. I am high on it.

There were a few more incidents which were highlight of this year. But nothing beats these three. At the end of the year, I am happy. I am learning to stay happy irrespective of all the things happening around me. I guess, I have matured a little. I have become serious. The coming year, I would like to balance myself. Trying is all you and me can do. Also, Hope for the best.

And also, Think nonsense while thinking about everything else…

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