My Conversation With God

Me: God.. Why have you kept me lonely so far? What’s your evil plan for me?
God: Who says you are lonely?
Me: Some family members of mine.
God: And?
Me: Some people around me.
God : And?
Me: Myself.
God: But I am with you. You don’t like my company?
Me: No no no. It’s not like that. I like to be with you. But you are God and not a person. Also, people believe in you. But if I say that I am talking to you when I am alone, they’ll admit me to the nearest mental hospital.
God: Is it about what people say to you or is it just you?
Me: *thinks for a while* It’s both.
God: You can’t fix people. They have their own twisted logic. What you can do is to fix yourself.
Me: Get a partner? I tried and I gave up. You aren’t helping me.
God: You’ll never be lonely if you have my company. The desire to have someone physically by your side is the root of this problem.
Me: But.. But.. What’s wrong in having such a desire? When I look around, everyone has someone with them. I feel left out.
God: Desire, expectation, make way for disappointment. You already know that. Yet you behave like you are ignorant.
Me: What should I do?
God: Don’t think about it. If at all you feel alone, give me a call.
Me: So you aren’t helping me to find a partner for myself.
God: I am. You can have a partner who may or may not be there always or You can have a partner who will always be there with you. Your call. *vanishing act*
Me: ………
Me: Fuck life…

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Broken

Sometimes, I see through a person.
I see how broken they are.
I want to pat on their back and say nothing.
But I cannot..
Because that person is a stranger.
And I don’t know how that person will react to my touch.
Yet…
I wish I could do that.
I wish I could..
Because I know how it feels like..
To be broken and no one to feel you..
To be broken and someone embracing you…

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Looking back…

Everyday, this year, I sit down and look back and I am overwhelmed. While thinking about it, I often get these questions. Do I deserve this? What have I done to deserve this? I don’t get clear answers for the questions. Every year, the when I ask the same questions, I get improvised answers . I continue to ask those questions in a hope that someday, I’ll get a clear answer.

But life doesn’t give you everything you want. It gives you what you deserve. And what you deserve depends on a complex equation with infinite variables. It is very difficult to determine the value of a variable. So I just leave the equation to solve by itself. Fate or destiny you may say.

Sometimes, You know the variable. You know which variable is causing the problem and you chase down the variable. The hunt gives a relief for a while. Then there are times when you know the variable but you can’t determine it’s value. This is the time when your patience, your integrity, your will and other core characteristics are tested.

Over the last couple of years, I have identified one such variable which is causing too much of trouble for me. That variable is companion. Believe me, I have tried. I have tried all possible ways to solve this but it’s not as easy as it seems. Apparently, the whole equation will be affected with the determination of this variable. I am stuck. I have no idea how to move forward. The hope that kept me going on for so long is fading out.

Will I be able to solve it before the hope fades out completely???

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October – Movie Review

Varun Dhawan

I am completely bored of Hindi movies. Especially those which fall into romance genre. It is always the usual crap. The crux of such movies doesn’t change. Only the treatment of the movie makes it different. Since the last decade, they are reaching new heights of vulgarity. It’s unbearable but yet many of those make it to the 100 Crore club. Thanks to the audience which is not yet ready to fully accept offbeat or parallel cinema.

October is one of those rare gems which doesn’t need anyone else to determine it’s value. A milestone in Hindi movies which can lead Hindi movies into a completely different era where parallel cinema doesn’t exists. It becomes a part of mainstream cinema itself.

This is a simple love story between Dan and Shuili. Both are doing hotel management in the same hotel. They are shown as good friends and nothing else. Then one day, Shuili falls from third floor and slips into coma. Dan is disturbed when he sees her disfigured and attached to life saving machines. A couple of days later, he comes to know that Shuili was asking his whereabouts just before the fall. This changes Dan’s perspective towards her. He starts to think that she loves him which results in his frequent visits to the hospitals. The rest of the movie showcases their bond. Is it love? It looks like that. Or is it something more than friendship? That is totally up to you to figure out.

Dan’s character is something you’ve never ever seen in reel life. Many of you may not have seen such a character in real life. That one character scores home run for this movie single handed. He is weird, absurd, unconventional, unreal, crazy, stupid etc. etc. but you will love him. You will laugh at what he does. He makes you think from his simple talk. Dan reminds me of Ove from ” A man called Ove” which made me love him more. Towards the end of the movie, there’s a mysterious scene. The way I interpreted it was that, Shuili meets Dan for one last time before continuing her journey forward. Let me know what you thought about the scene.

If you are hungry for watching good cinema, just grab the ticket for the next show and watch it. Don’t watch it if you are too much into movies starring Khan’s. This is not for you. 10/10

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गुढीपाडव्याच्या शुभेच्छा

नवीन वर्ष. नवीन सुरुवात. यावर्षी काहीतरी वेगळं करण्याचा प्रयत्न करा.
साचेबद्ध राहण्यात काहीच अर्थ नाही. यावर्षी स्वतःसाठी थोडा वेळ काढा.
आपल्या माणसांसाठीसुध्दा थोडा वेळ काढा.
आयुष्यातील छोट्या छोट्या क्षणांचा आनंद लुटण्याचा प्रयत्न करा.
या तुमच्या प्रयत्नांसाठी माझ्या शुभेच्छा. नुतन वर्षाभिनंदन!!

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