Clever Boyfriend

A young man walked into a jeweler’s shop late one Friday, with a
beautiful young lady at his side. “I’m looking for a special ring for
my girlfriend,” he said.

The jeweler looked through his stock, and took out an outstanding
ring priced at $5,000.

“I don’t think you understand… I want something very unique,” the
young man said.

At that, the jeweler fetched his special stock from the safe.
“Here’s one stunning ring at $40,000.”

The girls’ eyes sparkled, and the young man said that he would take

“How are you paying?”

“I’ll pay by check but, of course, the bank would want to make sure
that everything is in order, so I’ll write a check and you can phone the
bank tomorrow. Then I’ll pickup the ring on Monday,” the young man suggested.

The jeweler agreed.

Monday morning a very pissed off jeweler phoned the man. “You fraud –
you lied! There’s no money in that account!”

“I know, but can you imagine what a fantastic weekend I had?”

Smart Old Man

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

“Amazing!” he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal to the metal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

“I can get away from him – no problem!” thought the elderly gentleman as he floored it to 100mph, then 110, then 120mph. Suddenly, he thought, “What on earth am I doing? I’m too old for this nonsense!”, pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the Trooper to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the driver’s side of the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”

The man, looking very seriously at the Trooper, said, “10 Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”

“Have a good day, Sir,” said the Trooper.