When My Friend Slapped Me

It was a dark night. Clock on my table telling me it’s 1:00 am. In past few months, this is my normal time to go to sleep. Especially after I was addicted to twitter. Thanks to my BSNL connection, I found a cure to this addiction. The positive side of sleeping late is that you fall asleep almost instantly. Otherwise I have to start a playlist of some selected “slow” songs.

Moments later I hear a sound of door being opened. Nah.. This can’t be. I make sure all doors and windows are closed before lying on bed. That’s because I hate to get up for any reason after that. Another sound of something falling on floor. I could hear my heart pumping blood. I switched on the night lamp. I saw my book shelf open and a book on the floor. That book started walking towards me. It jumped from the floor to my bed. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Totally shocked. My eyes and mouth open.
Book: Close your mouth. You have bad breath.
Me: (Closed my mouth) But I brushed three hours back.
Book: Then you don’t know to brush properly.
Me: look who is talking? A book with no teeth.
Book: Don’t argue with me. You are not good at arguing. And I have not come to give lessons on personal hygiene.
Me: Then what for?
Book: Do you remember me? Recognize me?
Me: Of course. You are the reason for my reading habit. The book that first changed my way of looking at the gray scale life.
Book: Did you forgot what you promised to yourself?
Me: What promise? Promises are meant to be broken.
Slaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!!!
Me: What the heck!! How dare you slap me?
Book: I have the right to do so. Now.. Do you remember your promise?
Me: Yes. I promised to myself that I’ll read at least two books a month. No excuses.
Book: Good. Then why you broke your promise? You haven’t read any book for last five months. You had a lot of spare time in these months.
Me: I couldn’t find a good book to read.
Book: (Another Slap) From when you started judging books? No book is good or bad. What matters is you take something from the book. Every book offers that “something”. Read a book you haven’t read. That’s all you have to do.
Me: Things have changed my friend. I cannot concentrate like I used to. Every time I start reading a book my mind starts exploring another world.
Book: And that is the reason you need to read books. You stopped trying and you have started giving up
easily. I cannot let that happen to you. I have just slapped you twice but if needed I’ll give you more.
Me: Ok. Ok. I understand. You could have explained that to me without slapping.
Book: I could have. But you don’t understand until you are slapped. Now I’ll go back to shelf. But I’ll return if you don’t keep the promised. This time I’ll come with “Theory of Structure – Ramamrutham”. Imagine him slapping you.
Me: OMG! I won’t forget this time. But just tell me one thing before you leave. Is this my imagination? Do I need a treatment or something? Coz look.. I am talking to a book.
Me: Everyone talk to books. What do you think they do when they are reading book? You call it reading but actually, you are talking to that book.
The book turns back. Jumps down to floor and again to the shelf. Door closes.

I pinched myself. It wasn’t a dream.

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Finally Upgraded to WordPress 3.0

It’s been almost a year or so when I last upgraded my wordpress.  Main reason behind this laziness was that I was not having any problems with the version I was using, WP 2.8.3. I wasn’t much worried about the security as my blog was not a rich and famous types. Only one hacking attempt in last two years. Also the features which WordPress 3.0 boasts.. I don’t need them. At least for now.

So why did I upgrade? I upgraded just to make myself feel that I live in year 2010. That’s it. If you are a hardcore wordpress fan then you probably want to punch me in my face. But that’s the truth. I was much disappointed with the wordpress 3.0 beta. What I expected in wordpress 3.0 was that it shouldn’t be considered as a mere blog script. It should be a full fledged CMS. At present you need special themes designed for wordpress to look as a CMS\portal. I expected this to be in built in wordpress 3.0. Imagine if someone wants a website for his guitar store. Not to sell but just to showcase what they sell. He cannot afford a web designer and he doesn’t have enough knowledge to built a website. All he knows is wordpress. You believe it or not,but wordpress is so designed that anyone can use it.

But sadly, wordpress is a blog script. You can’t turn it into a simple website. This is what I expected. there should have been an option to display wordpress as traditional website. This would have been a revolution. I am sure, most of the small scale websites would switch to wordpress.

That said, I am still happy with the progress of wordpress. In coming days, I expect it to meet the requirements of common user.

For those who don’t know what have changed in wordpress 3.0, here is the changelog.

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Finding signal in the noise

It was Sunday. I was driving through some remote areas. Got bored of listening to same songs from my USB drive. So I thought of tuning to FM. I selected the source as FM. What I don’t like about this Car stereo is that it doesn’t come with a manual. So I don’t know how to save these FM channels. Hence I pressed the search button.
Searching…
It stopped and what I hear is noise. Try #2..
Searching…
It stopped and noise again. Try #3..
Searching…
It stopped. Some music with lot of noise in it. I fine tuned the channel and I get clear sound.

So what defines this noise? Consider above example. Till I hear a RJ or a song, whatever that falls on my eardrums is noise. Is that it? That is noise? I am a Rock fan but I don’t like Death Metal. It’s too loud and I consider it as noise. Similarly, anyone who doesn’t like Rock will consider it as noise. It’s unbearable to ears. I even heard someone saying, “They sell noise now a days unlike the music they used to sell in past”. I can only conclude that noise is undefined.

In a crowded market lot of signals come together and form noise. In such a place, a call from your friend is signal to you. Your reply is signal to your friend. But unknowingly you both contributed to noise. Our lives are crowded, Crowded heavily. We often misinterpret signal as noise. We never try to “fine tune” to get clear signal. Misunderstanding, differences, clashes are the results of lack of “fine tuning”.

Hey!!! that “thing” is broken. It’s not my fault. It’s not sending clear signals.
Yeah. That’s a good reason.

Noise always exists. When you don’t get a signal, you have noise. And when you get a signal, the noise is still there. Only thing is you are ignoring it.

Till you find the signal in noise…
Think Nonsense…

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In The Summertime

It’s Summertime. The best time to spend in Goa. For most of the locales, it’s the time to fill their pockets for the rest of the year. Not just locales, but the people from the other states who have succeeded in invading the seashore business. Apart from seashore business, they have also progressed in crime scene in Goa. It’s a shame for Goans. They shouldn’t have allowed outsiders to top the crime scene at least.

There is no Law and Order in Goa. There is only Love and Disorder. Everyone gets his cut from the seashore business. The hierarchy is maintained. As long as your pockets are full, you don’t care about the happenings.

So I was on Baga beach. It’s the best beach to enjoy the sea. Enjoying my Sun bath, Sea bath and providing vital nutrients to my eyes by admiring the beauty. That’s the most important part for males. The beauty of a completely wet woman is difficult to describe. At least I cannot find the right words. Blame my English vocabulary  if you want. The foreigners are the highlights of beaches. Those who come to visit Goa, their intention is to watch the firangi bodies in bikinis or may be less than that. Well… These firangis help in the economic growth of Goa.
Read More »

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Do You Think I’m Stupid

Note:- There is no question mark in the title.

Once upon a time in heaven, In the manufacturing unit of human beings, a faulty piece was manufactured. The head of Q.C. department rushed to God with the problem.
Q.C: God, there is a problem with one piece.
God: So what? Send it to repair unit. Repair it and deliver.
Q.C: It’s irreparable God. Only you can repair it if you want.
God: What’s the problem?
Q.C: Our worker accidentally gave extra dose of stupidity to that piece. It’s best to turn it into an ass.
God: What?
Q.C: Sorry God. Donkey..
God: Let me check.
After checking that piece..
God: Deliver it.
Q.C: But God…
God: Sometime we need to set new goals, new heights so that we can look at them and push ourselves to conquer those. While doing so we often make mistakes. Those mistakes remind us of what we should not do. This child is gifted with stupidity. It will always remind you not to make such piece again. Now quickly deliver it. I won’t be able to handle this menace.

That piece was a boy born on this very day and is the same person who wrote this post. I am very happy for what I am. People call me stupid. They call me idiot. They call me by all the animal names which have this peculiar characteristics. But I am still happy. That is because I am different. So what I am stupid? I accept it. Unlike some of you who cannot accept the fact.

Today is the day, those workers in heaven celebrate as “Blunder’s Day”. They haven’t manufactured a single defective unit since then. The worker who manufactured me, died of heart attack after I was delivered. I feel sad for him. But anyway, this day is special for me. I came into this world.

This world gave me a lot of good things in spite of me being stupid. As expected by God, I was a menace in my childhood. But my parents handled me. So for me, they are beyond this God entity.

I don’t have anything more to say. Just as I accepted what I am, Try it yourself. You’ll be very happy. Because in this world, the more you laugh… The more stupid you are.

I hope you get what I was trying to say.
Till you get it…
Think Nonsense…

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